Today is another difficult one. I am no longer sure what negative emotion doesn’t end up being a fear.
My format is going to sway a little today…sorry for the change up.
1) Fear- I am going to go back to anger for a bit here. I realized today that I have been using anger as a shield. It has it’s purpose…and it’s not without cause however, when I really start to poke at it, it’s just covering up “other” stuff, other emotions. Emotions that lead to fears.
2,3,4) Alternate response-Rational or irrational- my take and signs to look for in the future-
I think that it is sometimes easier to just get mad…pass it off on anger and hope that your anger makes people fix the issue…notice your unhappiness, validate your frustrations and tell you…your right.
HA! Well, as much as we all need that sometimes…it’s not the answer. The answer is looking deep within and figuring out why your so angry. How does the supposed issue really affect you personally. I mean it…HOW does it affect you PERSONALLY. That’s right, the majority of the time it doesn’t. Now trust me, I know there are many exceptions and anger does have it’s place, and purpose. We need to stand up for what you believe, and sometimes a sprinkling of anger helps us do just that. It’s when you let it consume you (like I feel I have done this week) that it becomes counter productive and can have the opposite effect that you subconsciously wanted in the first place.
You (me) alone are not going to change or save the world singlehandedly. No matter how we look at it.
What I have realized today is that,just because you don’t like the way someone is doing something does not mean they need to do it your way (regardless of whether your way truly is the best or easiest). This is the hardest lesson for me. I need to let people do what they need to do, the way they want and need to do it.
Because of the journey that I am on and sharing with all of you, I am going to look at it like this.
We are all on a path of learning. We all have lessons, and learn in individual ways. Who are we to and come in and interfere with someone else’s lesson? I can give insight, advice, or even explain a different way. Ultimately it is their lesson, their path. My way may be the best for me at my stage of transition but may hinder their growth or process.
Funny how we all live together on one planet, in the same universe, however we all live independently amongst our own selves. Now…I don’t me we are not inter connected we are. I really feel I am not explaining this right. How about this…. Our auras are like our own individual universes. The space junk that flies in mine may not fly in yours, thereby shifting the way we each experience similar situations. Our perspectives are just that, our perspective no one else’s. Each one of us brings our universes together to form the collective. Collectively we can share, assist, guide and mentor each other based on our individual levels of experiences. Anger is a subtle way of forgetting the fragility and importance of allowing the individuals purpose in the collective.
Back to fear… The anger again goes back to issues with the self (myself). Inadequacies, fear of not being needed…and not doing a good enough job (even though we may be angry because we feel we know how to do your job better). It’s complicated.
A friend said to me…let it go.
I said, how? When really inside I want to, I really do! But I worry that if I do, does it devalue the issue I was so mad at? For some reason I feel that I need to hold on to it as proof that I was right…or proof to give my emotion validation. For if I let go of it, will others think…that wasn’t that big of a deal? It all goes back to personal acceptance.
Well…it’s late. I think I will end what felt slightly like a rant here. I will finish up with day 5 tomorrow, take Saturday off and sum up my week of revelations on Sunday.
Thanks for following.