It has been very startling how easily I have been able to slip into a state of nothingness…. I don’t necessarily mind this state…it has just surprised me how easy it has been to go from something resembling chaos (life) to just being. As of last week I really started to notice that I have been having the hardest time….remembering the simplest of things. Time seems to no longer be a relevant concept for me. I have been over committing lately, and the result…is I have been finding myself spending more and more time in this void, this space of nothing.
Are you finding time just slips by? Where you would once have 3 hours to do something suddenly, you’re late? This is where I have been for the last few weeks actually. It isn’t that I am “forgetting” events as much as being completely confused by the time of the event, or what day it is and the day of the event.
Sure, like everyone else I have a lot on my plate right now, and it doesn’t help that I have been doing things in three different time zones, but that really doesn’t feel like it to me. It feels much bigger, more collective actually.
For me it seems like once I am headed or home for the day…with my family, I feel connected and clear-headed. When I am home nothing else matters, it is as if I have crossed a magical barrier. This has been very pleasant.
I have tried to figure out the reason or the purpose of this void. I am aware that there are many things I am trying to work out (in regards to moving forward). I know I need to let go of things…I realize I am really resistant to letting things go. I hold on far longer than I should… for me this may be one of the main causes or purposes of my void.
I believe this void, many of us are wandering around in, is more about a space that is being created for us, for contemplation.
I wrote a while ago about the squirrel and how his message was in part about hibernation and reflection. I think…this is the void…where I am currently residing… The void is really a space that is needed to contemplate and reflect on all that is. A time to review what we have experienced, learned, or been exposed to.
What we need to do is welcome the void, give it the space it needs. I tried fighting mine…didn’t work. Just made me frustrated and confused actually. It is really important right now to take the time that we need and sit in the void. Process the things that we need to process.
This has been a big year. A year of change and a year full of new unchartered possibilities. Our world is changing. I like to think of it as we are all in a sort of labor. The kind of labor you have when delivering a child. Seems rather fitting too given the time of year, where so many celebrate the birth of Jesus. We are in the process of delivering a new tomorrow… a new.. future… direction… job… relationship…. focus… perspective. It really doesn’t matter what will be new in your life, it still needs to be accepted and created and allowed and processed. I guess you could look at 2013 as being all about the pregnancy of what we are creating. We have spent the year feeding our potential, our desires, learning, failing, and changing our minds. Soon it will be time for delivery. For those of you that have actually delivered children… you know that this is a beautiful process but also a very painful, uncomfortable one at the same time. For those who have witnessed this through someone very close to you, you too know. All of us know that change is not easy, even when it brings us better than we could ever imagine… this is what is happening right now.
We are in labor, getting ready to deliver something wonderful, something better than we could ever image. We just have to endure a little discomfort along the way.
2014 is around the corner…it is a time of possibilities. Maybe your void is a reminder…a reminder to sit in stillness…and look into your void. Is it really a void? I think it is more of a quiet private space to reflect and contemplate who we are, where we have come from. A time to look at our tomorrow. Release what no longer serves us…or defines us. We have grown and changed and it is time we see ourselves for who we are now, not who we were.
Enjoy your proccess…enjoy your personal void. Out of nothing…everything is created.